


Overturned Picnic Tables

by sonicsora



Category: Brütal Legend, Psychonauts (Video Games)
Genre: AU, Demons, Demons Are Assholes, Engagement, Fist Fights, Gen, Humor, M/M, Modern AU, Party, Passive-aggression, Psychics are assholes, Succoria the demon emperor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 13:07:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18344294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonicsora/pseuds/sonicsora
Summary: Sasha has had enough of simply being passive-aggressive with Succoria, his future mother-in-law, now is the time for pure aggression. He's put up with her awful behavior long enough.Sure, it's his engagement party to Eddie, but eventually, this had to happen, right?Modern AU, Sasha is a Psychonaut still. Demons just exist in modern society.





	Overturned Picnic Tables

**Author's Note:**

  * For [callmedok](https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmedok/gifts).



> Written on a whim thanks to Owl! Thx for sins, owl!!

Sasha took a long slow sip of his drink, eyes narrowing as he made eye contact with Succoria across the yard. The demon emperor stared back at him disapprovingly, making a throat-slitting gesture when she caught his eye again. 

Sasha’s lips pulled into a tight frown before decided he had enough. The next rude gesture on her part only fueled his agitation. He had played nice for Eddie’s sake long enough. Succoria had earned his wrath. 

He casually handed Eddie his beer, “Hold this for me, dear.” 

The roadie grunted a little, but accepted the drink wordlessly still absorbed in the conversation with his father and demonic cousins. It was a conversation about cars, something Sasha had at best been vaguely following. 

The German man casually brushed his hands off on his slacks before rising from his chair, he spared Eddie a quick peck before making his descent from the deck to the rest of the yard. An engagement party in the backyard felt ridiculously Americana Sasha couldn’t help but be amused by it. Even with the more demonic elements (decorating with bones, teeth, and leather was still something Sasha was trying to wrap his mind around), the party could still be easily mistaken for any other backyard BBQ. 

He breezed through the crowd easily, sidestepping the occasional demonic child skittering past his legs or drunken cousin ten times removed stumbling around. He came to a stop by the food table, pretending to look over the various bowls of macaroni salad before Succoria predictably appeared. She was embarrassingly easy to read at times. For the scourge of the western world, she had a horrible poker face. 

“Ah, Succoria.” He turned to her casually, crossing his arms behind his back. “How nice to see you.” Riggnarok and Eddie had been vaguely trying to keep them apart throughout the day, but this was inevitable.

The demon bristled at that, large golden eyes narrowing back at him as she loomed over him. “Drop the niceties Nein. I have your number. I’ll be happy to punch it on your ticket the fuck out of here.” 

“Let me guess, it’s a nine.” He stated dryly back, amused by the way she briefly deflated when he predicted her eventual joke. Eddie did the exact disappointed shoulder sink when Sasha cut a terrible pun off at the knees. 

“I- I wasn’t gonna say that.” She avoided his gaze only further confirming she had one hundred percent planned on saying just that. 

“Mhm.” He offered her a razor-sharp smile. “Did you have anything else to say, or did you plan on wasting my time with another empty threat?” 

She sucked in an angry breath, ears flipping up against her skull in full offense. She should be terrifying at 9 feet tall, but all Sasha saw was pieces of Eddie wrapped up in demonic behavior. Eddie thankfully took more after his father than his mother in many ways. “Ohoho- no you fuckin’ didn’t- You think this is empty!?” 

She lunged forward, only to find herself bodily colliding into a table full of food. Predictably the wooden table utterly collapsed under her. Food went flying through the air and landed in the tree the table rested under or splattered across Succoria. Sasha had a feeling of what she was planning on doing. All it took was a casual side step and Succoria was now covered in three types of macaroni salad. 

“You-” She grabbed a glass bowl, chucking it his way. He deflected it with a shield, which only made it boomerang back onto the grass underfoot. 

“Succoria, you’re wasting perfectly good food. Isn’t that a bit rude?” 

The demon yowled angrily, sounding like a deranged cat as she sat up. Launching herself in his direction again. She slammed against a shield, breaking it only to smack into the next one as Sasha weaved around her. At this point the crowd had thinned around the table, giving them more room to maneuver. Demons at least knew to get out of the way of fist fights. He could only guess demons were used to some form of fight at any social gathering. 

Having 500 pounds of pissed off demon pounding at his shields shouldn’t be as funny as it was, but Sasha had to admit he liked a challenge. 

“Here I thought you were wanted by a few countries for your actions? This seems a bit lackluster.” He barely avoided her fist colliding with his head that time, but, damn it all he had to taunt her. After months of putting up with her bullshit, he deserved to push her buttons. Eddie had never stopped him from telling Succoria of, but Sasha had always tried to keep the peace to some extent. 

“You fucking little twerp!” Her claws just narrowly missed his arm, tattering the fabric of his sleeve. Sasha managed a disapproving tsking sound as he levitated out of her way. “I hope you can pay for that, I did like that blazer.” 

Succoria roared at that, trying to body check him and at best just scratching his arm. He hissed under his breath, but shielded himself against her next blow. Succoria slammed her fists against the shield snarling. 

Succoria’s tail suddenly whipped up and around once his shield disappeared, catching him by the ankle. Sasha swore under his breath, trying to right himself as he was dragged through the grass by the demonic emperor. 

“Bet you’re not so cocky now, you little bastard-” She started, only to be shot by one of his mind bullets. She thrashed him into the ground with her tail knocking the air out of Sasha entirely. She shrieked loudly until she was suddenly tackled by the familiar form of Riggnarok. 

Eddie was close behind his father, looking particularly pissed. “Sasha, what the fuck!?” 

“He-” Succoria pointed at Sasha, be it from under her husband sitting on her.

“She-” Sasha pointed at Succoria as Eddie helped him back to his feet. The roadie worriedly held onto Sasha. 

“Started it!” Both finished. 

“Fucks sake.” Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose. “Baby, why?” 

The German man dusted himself off, ignoring the aches and pains at this point. “If I said why I’m sure she’d try to attack again. So I’ll save my words.” He cast Succoria a low withering glance, which only made her bristle under Riggnarok. The demon emperor gave another angry hiss trying to thrash but mostly just stuck under Riggnarok's weight. 

“Baby, that is hot and wise, but also, what the fuck.”


End file.
